In the last few years, I have read different things about how kids don’t know how to be bored these days because they have so much offered to them. How we are taking away creativity and imaginations because we are putting a screen in their faces, or feeling like it’s our jobs to entertain them 24/7. How the great musicians, artists, scientists, leaders, etc — all were born into those roles because they were once bored and learned skills needed that only boredom could have allowed. As a parent, I am pretty strict about screen time, but it took time for me to learn that it is not my job to entertain my kids. Now, when I hear the dreaded “I’m bored”, “I have nothing to do” or “what can I do?”, my response is for them to find something to do, or I will.

It isn’t the popular response.

While sitting at a red light the other day, I mindlessly picked up my phone and went straight to Facebook—not responding to a text really quickly, but straight to social media, without even realizing it. When the light turned green, I put my phone down and then a thought popped into my mind…how can our kids learn how to be bored, if we don’t know how to as well?

I have forgotten how to be bored, y’all!

While the question of how can our kids learn how to be bored if we don’t know how to is new to me, the thought of me needing to exercise a discipline of not allowing so much of my own “screentime” is not. Recognizing that it had become a problem for me was the first step in making a change, but as you can tell, it’s a work in progress.

And, for me, phones are just a noticeable part of it. The busyness of life, yes, life is busy, is easier to get wrapped up in. I’m 1 of 11 kids, my husband is 1 of 4. The last time I counted, we have over 30 nieces and nephews. We have 2 babes of our own, plus a job, a business, regular things to do, etc. By default, life is just busy. And, I love it! But, I am learning to appreciate down time. I am learning to love it, too. And when there is downtime, you can ask my husband, I think I’m(we’re) supposed to be doing something. Feeling the need to be busy all of the time is not the healthy mindset that I want to have for myself, and one that I certainly do not want my kids to think they need to follow as well—not now, and not 30 years from now.

So, I think that if we want our kids to know how to be bored, maybe we need to get back to a little of it ourselves. We need to stop feeling like we have to go, go, go all of the time, stop feeling like if we do get to sit down, that we need a phone to scroll through to do so, stop feeling like we have to stay busy every second of the day…

And start pulling out a board game, picking up an instrument, drawing, going for a walk, jumping on a trampoline, playing hide and go seek.

And maybe this isn’t something you struggle with, and that is great! And maybe it is. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s easy to do. But I challenge all of us to start showing our children and those that we influence how to be bored, and the good that comes from it—because they are looking at us. And there’s no telling what other distractions they will have 20, 30, 40 years from now that will keep them from not being a little “bored”, but we need to teach them now that it’s okay. We need to teach them now to use their imaginations and play “I spy”, put on a concert or a play in the living room, build a fort, make up a new game. I mean, if it wasn’t for boredom, my siblings and I would have never came up with “The Midnight Club” or “Stop, drop your weapon”, some of my most talked about childhood memories.

And if you are a parent who is thinking, “bored”….hmmmppphh…I don’t know what that’s like. I feel you. I do. We have a lot on our plates, and most of the time we don’t stop until we make ourselves call it a night. But, if I had to guess, I bet we could make some time to be bored with our kids, not as a means to entertain their boredom, but to join in on whatever game or activity they decide to come up with. At least, that’s what I’m trying to do; it’s a start. Because at the end of the day, somebody does still have to wash dishes, wash (and maybe fold) clothes, give baths, brush teeth, make beds, cook meals, pack lunches, keep the house somewhat livable, exercise, work, return phone calls/texts, oh and sleep…until you do it all again the next day, leaving the bigger projects to other times when you may get “bored”. But part of that list needs to include being bored with them, make it a priority with them. It will be good for you, and them, and all of us.

As a mama, I have learned that being a “grown up” is a funny thing. It’s something we all couldn’t wait to be—to make our own decisions, stay up as late as we wanted, do whatever we wanted to do. I have learned the incredible responsibility of doing those things, along with the balance of doing what’s best for me and my family. So yes, we can be and do as we please for the most part, after all, we are the “grown ups”—but a big part of that is to watch how it is affecting the ones we love the most, and what it’s teaching them.

For me, I want mine to see that I know how to be a little bored too, and the fun that can come from it. I want to stop allowing the availability of not having to be bored stop me from knowing how to be. Who knows…I may just create some of my most talked about memories, we may just create some of our most talked about memories.